Looking to connect? Craigslist’s got your back with “Missed Connections.”

Maybe you met your perfect match while grabbing a cup of joe. Or perhaps you lost track of a dear old friend. Or maybe you got hit by a Prius and you want to talk.

You hit me with your Prius

Me – Bicyclist, heading to jury duty on 10th Street, Friday at 8:50am.

You – Prius driver, crossing over two lanes, hitting me with your car and speeding away.

I was hoping we could catch up for a cup of coffee, so I could get your views on the environment, and strangle you.

Thanks to @TheBloggess for sharing:

Found on Facebook! (Thanks LK!)

Sick of your friends’ “25 Random Things” clogging up your Facebook feed? Break up the mind-numbing irritation monotony with this latest video gem: “Jesus Is A Friend of Mine.” Share on…

Ah, Craiglist. A haven for strange solicitations. This ain’t no Ninja Hauler, but it will make you go, “Whaaaa?”

Stay [under] my bed

stay under my bed for the bargain price of $600/month!

when you emerge from the floor space under my full size bed, you will be in the heart of san francisco!

requires first and last months’ rent.

note: if you pretend like you are an actual monster under the bed and haunt me like when i was a child, i will allow access to the shower and stove. but you must make me so scared that i wet the bed. if you succeed, i will be soaked, and will lie there motionless until the yellow liquid turns cold, as i will be too afraid to wake up my parents who now live 3000 miles away.

okay okay, i’ll let you stay for free if you will just please help me wet the bed every night!

Breaking news: Sony releases new stupid piece of shit that doesn’t fucking work.

Big thanks to The Onion for covering the story.