Ah, Craiglist. A haven for strange solicitations. This ain’t no Ninja Hauler, but it will make you go, “Whaaaa?”
Stay [under] my bed
stay under my bed for the bargain price of $600/month!
when you emerge from the floor space under my full size bed, you will be in the heart of san francisco!
requires first and last months’ rent.
note: if you pretend like you are an actual monster under the bed and haunt me like when i was a child, i will allow access to the shower and stove. but you must make me so scared that i wet the bed. if you succeed, i will be soaked, and will lie there motionless until the yellow liquid turns cold, as i will be too afraid to wake up my parents who now live 3000 miles away.
okay okay, i’ll let you stay for free if you will just please help me wet the bed every night!
I think we found our new place. You pay 400.00 and I’ll let you have bigger side.